2.Dick's Automotive
One, two, one, two, three, quattro
John was living in ocean beach, california with his girlfriend,
julie, when he decided one day, 'hey, jule, let's move up north.
to northern california where the air is clear and the skies
Lue and they have more traditional family values. what do say
jule？' so they loaded up their car and they moved up north to
the santa cruz mountains near the byantine winery into a one
bedr
Railer behind the bowling alley. two blocks from the
supermarket. one more block to the south
Of dick's automotive
Dick's automotive
Dick's automotive
Dick's automotive
John applied for a job at dick's automotive and dick came to the
door and he said, 'tell me johnny boy. can you rotate the tires
on a '72 subaru？' he said, 'no.' 'well t
Can you change the oil in a '76 pinto？' he said, 'no.' 'well can
you rebuild a holly four-barrelled carburetor on a '69 camaro
with a big 'ol hearse shift rod？' and he s
'um, no.' 'do you have a girlfriend with long, red, curly hair.
creamy, milk-white thighs. big full lips. biceps like henry
rollings？ and can she just scream like a hyena in the s
？' and he said, 'yes.' and dick said, 'boy, then you're hired.'
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
John studied real, real hard. he learned how to rotate the tires
on a '72 subaru. he learned how to change the oil in all the
pinto's. and he learned how to rebuild that holly four-barrelled
car
Or on a '69 camaro. and much, much more than that. he learned
how to make love with his girlfriend, julie like a real man
oughta. and dick gave him his service stripes and he said,
'there's
Ttle old lady and her car's broken down up near the byantine
winery. you gotta help her man. go sheba, go. rrraah, rrraah.'
so he sent him on his way and about that time dick glued back in
Entures, glued back on his toupee, stood in front of the mirror
and said, 'i feel sexy! i wonder what julie's doin' all alone in
that trailer. i bet she's having trouble opening up a can of
Hes right now. i'll bring along my blowtorch just to see if she
needs help.' so he hiked a block down the road to the one
bedroom trailer behind the bowling alley and he knocked on the
door
Julie answered the door and she said, 'oh, hello
Dick. i was just having trouble opening up a can of peaches.
c'mon in.' so he started up the blowtorch (bwooh) and all the
peach juice ran down his veins. and he poured it in the
tupperwar
T julie used to sell in ocean beach. and he said：
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
So he loaded julie into his '57 chevy and he drove her up right
near the winery. into the middle of the forest he took her. and
he tied her up to a tree. and cut half of her top down. and he
sai
Uot;stick out your tongue.' then he put on forty-two and a half
tabs of brown acid that he still had from his woodstock days.
sprickled a little paote on her tongue just for good measure. s
W all kinds of colors. lemon yellow, orange orange, cherry red,
kaleidoscope eyes. the world was on fire. and about that time
there was a mommy deer walking through the forest with a baby
deer.
Ick cut down julie's arm and he poured in some granola and he
mixed it up with stricnine poison and he said, 'oh, c'mere
little deer. i have some food for you. look at julie.' and the
Deer said, 'oh, i better eat it first because it could be
poisonous and my heart is much stronger than yours, child.' but
really the mommy deer was just a glutton and wanted all the f
And the mommy deer stuck her little mommy snout into julie'
S palm and it licked it. mmmm. mmmm. and it said, 'oh, go ahead,
eat some.' but the mommy's heart was much stronger and when the
baby deer stuck her tongue into the palm of julie's han
Licked, it died. flat shooby doo wop down. and the mommy deer
died shortly thereafter. zippity doo wah out on the ground. and
dick cut julie down from the tree and he looked at the dead deer
at
Feet. and he grabbed her around the neck and pushed his tongue
right down her mouth. and he said, 'wow, nature's so bitchin'!'
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive (play it you silly freak!)
'bout that time john was driving back down the road feeling
really good about helping that little old lady out. and he saw
dick's '57 chevy parked on the side of the road he said, 'wow,
he
Be in trouble. i'd better bring along a chainsaw, a blowtorch
and an icepick just to see if he needs help.' then he said,
'whoa, that looks like the afghan sweater that julie's grandm
Tted us last summer in ocean beach. what's julie doing here？'
and he hiked through the forest. and he saw the love of his life
on a dirty brown piece of berber carpet. dick's dentures on th
Und chattering. his toupee being carried off by the squirrels
and cockroaches. and he saw red and he started up a blowtorch
(bwooh). then he welded their bodies together, took an icepick
out of
Ret manilla envelope, stabbed them fifty-seven times. started up
a chainsaw (br-r-r-r-r), cut off dick's ankle. put his foot
right in his mouth and says, 'look's like you put your foot in y
Outh one last time, dickie boy!' then he looked at the
Dead deer at their feet and he picked them up. and he gave the
mommy deer mouth to mouth resucitation, but to no avail. the
mommy deer was dead. and he gave the baby deer mouth to mouth
resucit
And the baby deer came back to life. charles bronsan had tears
in his eyes, i guess 'cause nature had been vindicated. david
coresh was selling barbequed ribs on the side. the mommy deer
still
Ead. and he said：
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
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